You know, the kind where two lovers orgasm at the same time? But let’s dig a little deeper, and explore the act of writing about sex in an authentic way that informs your characters. Aspirational sex, as I like to think of it. There is no shortage of tips out there for writing a “hot” sex scene. In short, sex can tell you a lot about your characters. These wide-ranging and often disparate attributes make sex the perfect means by which to learn more about your characters, their backstories, their motivations, and their neurosis. Sometimes it’s the ultimate act of vulnerability. Sex ruins relationships, destroys lives, puts people in prison. Sex is the consummation of a marriage, or the punctuation on a cathartic break-up. It’s an expression of love, and it’s a manifestation of hate. It can create an emotional connection, or it can be a purely physical act. Sex brings people together, but it also drives them apart. More often, I’ve encountered scenes that dance around the subject, beginning the act and then “cutting away” before things get heated, and I imagine the melody of a smooth jazz sax solo in the distance.īut sex is a vital part of life that deserves more than a hardcore pounding or a cutaway.
Some writers lean in HARD, describing every throbbing member, every pinched nipple. I am often surprised by how writers choose to tackle a sex scene. These differences should be reflected in the stories we tell, fictional or not. It means something different to each of us, and that meaning says something about who we are and where we came from. I wished I could see sex the way my Danish friend did, but the truth is, sex exists on a spectrum. How could sex be as simple as getting a cup of coffee? I had always viewed sex through a lens distorted by society, toxic experience, and the expectations of men.
It was just something you did for fun.”įor me, this casual point of view did not compute.
like watching TV together or going for coffee?” I stared at her, trying to make sense of this statement.
“Growing up in Denmark, sex was just another way of hanging out,” she said. Leaving them out would have done nothing-except prevent a show that wants to be progressive in its sexual politics from taking up a damaging old stereotype and broadcasting it to audiences that may not know any better.Several years ago, a Danish friend of mine made a casual remark that stunned me. I’ve watched the clips many times, and I just don’t get why they’re there. As I said, it is not at all clear to me that Connor needs these tiresome little asides to establish his character, and I think we can all agree that the ha-ha-prison-rape stuff should have long since been banned from any writers’ room. Snark aside, here the thing: I find the inclusion of this bottom shaming leitmotif in HTGAWM more confusing than offensive. With all this happening in just the first five episodes, who can tell what fresh insights future installments will bring? Impressively, the bottom shame/prison-rape combo is deployed again in Episode 5, when Laurel Castillo (Karla Souza) laments that a client will likely go to prison “where he will probably become somebody’s bitch boy.” It’s a line that makes Asher’s joking about Connor knowing how “to use a back door” seem almost classy.